i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

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    James Levis-Sparkes
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    i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Fri Aug 25, 2017 10:43 pm

    Ah, the weekend. Weekends were what Jamey lived for. When Jamey could get away with day drinking, or staying out too late, or stumbling home drunk at three in the morning. Tonight was no different than a typical Friday night. It had started out at a party at the lighthouse, then moved to the bars and night clubs along the town. Jamey had danced with so many different clio, he wasn't even sure if they had been guys or girls.

    He wasn't quite sure how he had eventually found his way home, or how even he found the correct dorm room, but when he finally did unlock the door and barge his way in, he loudly slammed the door shut behind him, completely disregarding the fact that it was dark, and poor Elias was probably sleeping.

    Jamey kicked off his shoes and started to shuffle around on his side of the dorm, searching for a pair of sweat pants to change into. He found a pair, laying in a crumpled pile at the end of his bed, ripped off his shirt and jeans, and clumsily pulled on the dark pair of sweatpants that he now wasn't sure if they were actually his, or his roommates. Oh well.

    Finally, he crawled into bed, only to realize that there was a warm body sharing the space with him. Wait a minute.

    "Elias?" He mumbled, feeling totally confused. "What the hell are you doing in my bed?"
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    Elias Kappo-Selway
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by Elias Kappo-Selway on Fri Aug 25, 2017 10:58 pm

    Elias wasn't sleeping, but rather staring at the ceiling alone in the dark. Which was actually probably worse. But sometimes Elias had a bit of insomnia, probably from the dark parts of his life that he decided to wade in instead of resolving.

    Anyway, his roommate barged into the dorm room very late this Friday evening, which wasn't necessarily unlike him. What was unlike him was Jamey coming into his bed. Was he that drunk?

    "Jamey, this isn't your bed," Elias said with a shove. He slept in his boxers so this was even more uncomfortable. "Get out of my bed!" he said forcefully. At least Jamey had somehow managed to put pants on, but this was really ruining Elias' night, which was already pretty shitty to begin with.

    "Go away," he said conclusively, turning over toward the wall.
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Fri Aug 25, 2017 11:14 pm

    When Elias suddenly began shoving Jamey, his first reaction was to lie there like a dead log. With all of his weight working against Elias, Jamey barely moved, and if anything rolled closer to his irritated roommate, his bare chest pressed up against Elias' bare back.

    Jamey found all of this hilarious of course, and laughed into the hair on the back of Elias' head.

    "Sorry..." he said, holding back more laughter. "I can't see."

    Jamey immediately began to laugh again, finding this situation the funniest thing he'd ever experienced, like ever.
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    Elias Kappo-Selway
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by Elias Kappo-Selway on Fri Aug 25, 2017 11:34 pm

    Elias rolled his eyes and groaned at the annoying situation he somehow found himself in. How in the world was this happening right now?

    Jamey's breath smelled like alcohol and his body felt warm against Elias' back. While Elias imagined that he would enjoy having some clio contact, as he hadn't really had that experience before, he didn't ask for this and didn't want it with his douchey roommate. He did not want drunk cuddles tonight from Jamey.

    "Jamey!" he said, pushing his elbow back to nudge his roommate again. "What the fuck, dude? Seriously, get off of me." Elias' bed was so small, he did not have the room to sleep next to this drunk guy.
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Fri Aug 25, 2017 11:59 pm

    Jamey started to laugh harder as Elias struggled to force him out of his bed.

    "Ow..." he whimpered, as Elias' elbow made contact. "Stooooop, that hurts!"

    It didn't really hurt, Jamey was just being dramatic, however he grabbed Elias' elbow to block him from digging in further.

    "I don't wanna get out," Jamey whined. "I'm already comfortable."

    Jamey yawned suddenly, and deeply, as if to confirm how comfortable he was. "Have you been awake this whole time?" He asked. "Why with the light off?"

    Even in his drunken stupor, Jamey could tell that he was slurring his words pretty badly, so he tried talking like a sober clio would, only to make it sound worse. He decided that he didn't care, and scooted closer to Elias, basically becoming the bigger spoon in a spoon party. He felt so warm and cozy, and he didn't even mind that he was sharing a bed with a guy. He actually kind of liked it...maybe more than he should.
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    Elias Kappo-Selway
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by Elias Kappo-Selway on Sat Aug 26, 2017 12:14 am

    Elias grumbled. What in the WORLD was happening???

    "Sometimes I just can't sleep," he mumbled as Jamey tried to get cozy with him. "Jamey..." he turned over, facing Jamey. "What are you doing?" he asked softly. He was still aggravated, but was also a bit concerned. Jamey had never shown affection in this way before. "Do you need some water?" he offered.

    This was really weird for Elias. Jamey had mostly insulted him for the majority of their interactions so far, and even though Elias had generally found him to be physically attractive, they hadn't exactly gotten along historically. Was Jamey messing with him? Was he testing him? He had no idea, and was nervous that not thinking about it beforehand would come back to bite him in the butt later.
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Sat Aug 26, 2017 4:16 pm

    Now that Elias had rolled over, the two of them were practically nose to nose. Jamey didn't mind though, he liked how close Elias was. He liked the exchange of body heat between them. He yawned again, then shut his eyes.

    Elias wrote:"Do you need some water?"

    "Mmm..." Jamey nodded. "Water sounds good."

    Jamey laid there, curled in a ball, and waited while Elias presumably left to get him some water.
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    Elias Kappo-Selway
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by Elias Kappo-Selway on Sun Aug 27, 2017 10:59 am

    Elias mumbled something under his breath as he had to practically climb over Jamey to get out of his own bed and get his weird roommate some water.

    He better not puke in my bed, Elias thought as he grabbed a cup and filled it.

    You're being kind to him, Rhiannon noted. Why? Just push him off your bed.

    Eh...he probably won't remember this in the morning anyway, Elias said, somewhat as an excuse. Why was he being nice? Jamey hadn't afforded him that much. And wouldn't it be weirder for Jamey to wake up in bed with Elias than to just wake up on the floor?

    "Here," he said, offering the water to Jamey. "Sit up so you can drink it."
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Mon Aug 28, 2017 5:06 pm

    Jamey barely moved as Elias climbed over him. He briefly thought about grabbing him as he did it, but was too tired and drunk to move. Despite his inebriated state, he was surprised that he felt this way. He usually tried to suppress these feelings that he had toward other guys, but being drunk helped him feel comfortable with his true self. He tried to from a coherent thought to send out to Alma, but even she felt too wonky to really do anything or give him any advice. Instead, his daemon lay on his bed across the room, all sprawled out like a house cat would on a hot summer day. The thought of this made Jamey laugh, and he continued to laugh until Elias returned with his cup of water.

    Elias wrote:"Sit up so you can drink it."

    Jamey made a sound that sounded like a whiny groan, but sat up anyway. Of course, he sat up too fast and the room started to spin for a minute. He shut his eyes tight until the feeling finally passed, then he took the cup of water from his roommate. He drank greedily until the cup was completely empty.

    "Thanks," he sighed. "I needed that."

    He stared at Elias and licked the water off of his lips, which in turn made his lips more wet. He wiped the spit from his mouth with the back of his hand then grinned at Elias.

    "Come back to bed!" He chirped.
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    Elias Kappo-Selway
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by Elias Kappo-Selway on Mon Aug 28, 2017 5:27 pm

    Elias nodded in response to Jamey's gratitude, again something he wasn't used to. As he was putting the cup down on his desk, Jamey asked him to 'come back to bed' which made Elias feel really weird.

    "Do you think you can make it back to your bed maybe?" he asked. Standing there in his boxers after being so physically close to Jamey made him feel exposed, even though the two of them often walked around in their boxers without a problem. "Or I could sleep in your bed--" he offered, but saw that Jamey's daemon was sprawled across that one as well, which made it unlikely that Elias would be comfortable there either. Rhiannon stretched happily and comfortably on her perch on Elias' desk chair.

    Push him, she urged.

    I don't want him to think I'm trying to touch him, Elias responded nervously. Did he want to touch him?
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Mon Aug 28, 2017 5:47 pm

    "No," Jamey replied. "I liked being close to you."

    Okay, that was weird. Alma lifted her head to stare at her clio, then slowly lowered it back down. She of course knew all of Jamey's deepest darkest secrets, but couldn't bring herself to say anything. It worried her, what was going to happen tonight?

    Jamey scooted over in the bed, closer to the wall, and patted the spot that was once where he lay. "I won't bite," he slurred. "Unless you want me to."

    What the fuck was going on?
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    Elias Kappo-Selway
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by Elias Kappo-Selway on Mon Aug 28, 2017 5:53 pm

    Elias blushed immediately. He had thought Jamey was acting bizarre, obviously, but thought he was reading too much into his actions to believe that Jamey was actually hitting on him or anything. Jamey was so drunk, was it even right to do this?

    No, Rhiannon offered.

    Elias awkwardly climbed back into his bed, sitting next to Jamey without saying a word. He didn't make any eye contact, instead just staring at his legs. "What...are we...?" he managed, finally looking over to Jamey.
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Mon Aug 28, 2017 6:05 pm

    Jamey stared drunkenly at Elias for what probably felt like five years for the both of them. He wanted to so badly kiss him right now. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He had never done this before, kissed a guy, though he always felt right about it. Jamey had kissed plenty of girls, even slept with them, but he never enjoyed it. It always felt forced, like he should be doing this because that was what all his friends were doing. He hated feeling that way.

    "We're going to make out now," he said matter-of-factly.

    And just like that he leaned toward his roommate and planted his lips firmly on Elias'. It felt so...right.
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by Elias Kappo-Selway on Mon Aug 28, 2017 6:26 pm

    Elias raised his eyebrows in surprise at Jamey's blunt response, but barely had time to process anything before Jamey's lips met his own. He had the urge to back away, mostly because he hadn't really been sexual with anyone before. He and Finley had fooled around a handful of times when they were drunk, but they had never done anything more than make out and dance really close with one another.

    But this was different. Even though Jamey was intoxicated, he felt like this was deeper than just being drunk and wanting to fool around and have fun. Jamey could have done that with anyone, which any girl -- why had he come back and crawled into Elias' bed to do this?

    Elias was (as expected) a bit awkward, as he wasn't super experienced with this sort of thing, let alone with a guy. But he soon found a position that was comfortable, leaning his weight on one arm and using the other to rest his hand on Jamey's chest. That much had seemed natural to him, but also it left him prepared to push Jamey away if something went awry.
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Mon Aug 28, 2017 6:48 pm

    Elias didn't push him away, so that was a good sign. Jamey decided to test the waters a little bit, and slipped his tongue into Elias' mouth. He too adjusted himself a bit, and placed one hand on Elias' waist, his fingers dangerously close to the elastic waistband of Elias' boxers. Jamey leaned forward, in hopes to somehow get Elias underneath him. He wanted to go further.


    Last edited by James Levis-Sparkes on Mon Aug 28, 2017 10:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Elias Kappo-Selway
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by Elias Kappo-Selway on Mon Aug 28, 2017 7:33 pm

    Elias could feel tingles throughout his body as Jamey's fingers grazed his boxers, his body instinctually (and embarrassingly quickly) reacting to the sexual situation. He was tempted to lean back, to let Jamey do whatever he wanted with him, to feel what he'd been curious about for so long -- but he couldn't.

    He shook his head, breaking his lips away from Jamey's. "No..." he whispered, slowly opening his eyes. "I want to, but...not like this. I can't."

    He sighed, scooting away from Jamey a bit to release some of the tension between them.
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Mon Aug 28, 2017 8:03 pm

    The disappointment on Jamey's face was so obvious that a blind man would notice it. Was Elias grossed out by him? His body was certainly reacting positively, but what about his head? This was part of why Jamey had been keeping his sexual orientation bottled up inside of him. Fear of rejection.

    "I'm sorry," he whispered. "You must think I'm so stupid."
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    Elias Kappo-Selway
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by Elias Kappo-Selway on Mon Aug 28, 2017 9:07 pm

    Elias frowned. He hadn't meant to make Jamey feel bad, but Elias had been to those consent assemblies -- he knew in his gut that it was wrong to have sex with someone who was inebriated, and he felt particularly wrong as a sober man having sex with a drunk man who, to his knowledge, had never even done anything with a guy before.

    "I don't think you're stupid," he said softly. "I think you're drunk, and I'm not, and that's...not okay."

    Elias had effectively ruined the mood, which he felt guilty about. But he knew he was doing the right thing. He was already starting to feel anxious about what the following morning would look like. Would Jamey bro out and pretend that nothing had ever happened? Would he remember this? Would he threaten Elias now that he knew something that was probably a deep dark secret? His stomach tensed up just thinking about it all. Why had he gotten back into bed with him?
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Mon Aug 28, 2017 9:27 pm

    Jamey still couldn't understand why Elias didn't want to have sex with him, but he wasn't going to push it any longer. He realized that he was feeling pretty exhausted now anyway, so he scooted his butt down and clumsily got underneath the blanket. Once he felt comfortable, he looked back up at Elias, who was still sitting.

    "Will you still lay with me?" He asked.
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by Elias Kappo-Selway on Mon Aug 28, 2017 9:33 pm

    Elias thought it over for a second, imagining all of the horrible ways that sober-Jamey could wake up in the morning and react to sharing a tiny bed with Elias, but he pushed those thoughts away and nodded.

    "Sure, yeah," he said, covering himself in the blanket and getting close to Jamey. He didn't want to get too close, since he'd probably ruined everything and made Jamey hate him by stopping what was happening. But also, Jamey obviously wanted to sleep closely with him if he decided to stay in this tiny twin-sized dorm room bed which was not made for two clio.

    So he found a decent in-between and put his body against Jamey's back, not actively wrapping his arms around him or anything, but staying close enough to call it cuddling probably. As awkward as this all was, the two fell asleep -- thank gods since it was very late.
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Mon Aug 28, 2017 10:00 pm

    ~THE MORNING AFTER~

    Sun peaked through the cheap dorm room blinds, shining brightly inside of the small room that the two young men shared. Jamey awoke with a start, then immediately squinted at the brightness of the room, his eyes watering. He laid still for a moment, trying to recount the events of last night.

    Alma, he groaned inside of his head. What happened last night?

    Though he luckily didn't feel nauseous, his head was pounding.

    You almost had sex with Elias, she told him bluntly. But you just made out with him then shared his bed.

    Suddenly, Jamey was very aware of how large the body was that was lying beside him. Definitely too large to be his daemon. He looked and started to feel nauseous. Everything from last night came flooding back to him. He had tried to have sex with Elias. He had to get out of this bed, before Elias woke up.

    Jamey sat up, and the whole room started to spin. He sat still for a moment, waiting for his brain to sit still, but this wasn't ordinary, hangover, dizziness. He thought he was going to be sick. Nobody but he and his daemon knew about his feelings, but now his dumb drunk ass ruined his facade.

    How was he going to face Elias once he woke up? What was he going to say? Should he just pretend that he had no idea what he was talking about? Should he just play it off as some kind of joke? Gods Jamey was going to throw up.

    He crawled out of Elias' bed and rushed to the nearest waste basket. He threw up nothing but liquid, and his vomit tasted like last nights alcohol. He looked over at Elias, who was awake now.

    "Hey," he said nervously, still hovering over the waste basket.
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    Elias Kappo-Selway
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by Elias Kappo-Selway on Tue Aug 29, 2017 1:22 am

    Elias woke up suddenly at the sound of Jamey puking close to him. In the first few seconds of consciousness, everything that had happened the night before rushed back to him, along with all of his anxieties about what would happen now. Then Elias worried that Jamey was puking in his bed, so he jumped up and prepared to grab the nearest waste basket -- only to see Jamey hunched over it already.

    Oh thank gods, Elias thought, happy to let go of at least one of his pressing anxieties.

    "Hi," Elias responded, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He stretched, yawned, and sat up properly on his bed while Rhiannon made her way from sitting on his chair to laying next to him on his mattress.

    "Got...pretty drunk last night, huh?" he mumbled, undecided on how he would handle the situation. He didn't want to be upfront and ask Jamey about what had happened, mostly out of fear of potentially painful retaliation. But bringing up that Jamey drank a lot the night before seemed like a decent bridge between this morning and last night's events.
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    James Levis-Sparkes
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Tue Aug 29, 2017 2:21 pm

    "That's an understatement," Jamey snapped, while awkwardly rubbing his face to avoid eye contact. Waste basket still in hand, he stood and walked toward his bed. He gently pushed Alma aside and slid underneath his blanket. He immediately felt bad for snapping at Elias, and his face turned beat red.

    Jamey covered his entire face under his blanket and groaned dramatically. "Elias," he said, his face still hidden under his blanket. "I'm gay."

    His voice was muffled, and from Elias' side it probably sounded like, "Bias toupees."
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    Elias Kappo-Selway
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by Elias Kappo-Selway on Wed Aug 30, 2017 2:00 am

    Elias blinked dumbly at Jamey snapping at him. This was what Elias was waiting for.

    He's upset with me, Elias thought. I took advantage of him, he didn't want to actually do anything with me, he's mad at me for even touching him, he hates me.

    Oh my gods, Rhiannon said, rolling her eyes. He's hungover and just puked in a waste basket. Give him a second to wake up to see if he hates you or wants you.

    Elias blew off Rhiannon. As if Jamey would actually want Elias while sober. This was obviously just some random mistake or joke that happened between them.

    But when Jamey mumbled under his blanket, Elias could have sworn he heard him say, "I'm gay." It was too mumbled to be sure, and Elias what probably just projecting his own insecurities and confusing emotions onto Jamey.

    "Um..." Elias tried, thinking that saying anything was better than pretending to ignore him, but he just couldn't. "I'm sorry, what did you say? I couldn't hear you...with the blanket and all..." Elias muttered uncomfortably.
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    Re: i'll keep you my dirty little secret ;; elias

    Post by James Levis-Sparkes on Wed Aug 30, 2017 10:03 am

    Jamey sighed irritably, unable to believe that he had to repeat himself, and humiliate himself, again.

    He threw the blanket off his head dramatically and spoke so loudly that the clio in the surrounding dorm rooms probably heard him if they were awake, "I'm gay, Elias!" He looked over to his roommate, a look of despair on his face. "Okay?"

    The last time Jamey remembered crying was his third year at Redfern. He had fallen while playing soccer and broke his ankle. The type of tears that were making their way to the surface of his eyes were a different kind of tears though. Humiliated, defeated, tears of despair and frustration were budding from the corners of his eyes. He wanted to cover himself back up, but Elias knew everything now, there was nothing to hide from this time. So instead he let the tears flow and he stared up at the ceiling, unable to look his roommate in the eye any longer.

    Jamey felt sick again, but he wasn't going to throw up this time. Alma snuggled closely to her clio, glad that he finally told someone, but sad that he was feeling the way he was.

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